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Monday, September 12, 2011

Ow, My Toe

Dramatization.  My actual toes not pictured above.

I broke my toe last night.  I mean. . . I think I broke my toe last night.  I've never broken anything to know whether what this feels like, and what broken feels like are the same thing.  Here are the major symptoms:  1)  It really hurts, 2)  I can barely move it, 3)  my toe has never hurt this much ever.

That's pretty much it.  Okay, i stubbed it.  I stubbed it and it hurt really really bad, and the only thing medically that leads me to believe it may not be broken is that I never actually swore outloud.  I always assumed loud swearing pretty much meant it was broken.  That's just medically though.

parrot not included

Most of today has been spent limping from point A to point B, alternatively emitting involuntary gasps of pain as I misplace my foot, or wry laughter at my gasps, punctuated by the odd rhythm of my fractured gait. . . thump-thump - pause - thump-thump - pause, and so on, Gasp, laugh, thump-thump-pause-thump-thump, gasp, laugh.  Like a mortally wounded pirate with a good sense of humor. 

Later this afternoon, when I was limping around the grocery store trying to find an Anniversary card for my wife, i realized that if I angled my foot to the left, i could push off the inside of my foot and use my big toe and I didn't have to limp as much.  I'm going to "buddy tape" my pinkie toe to my (what. . . ring toe?) next-to-pinkie-toe tomorrow and see if that helps. 


  1. I broke a toe that way before. GODDAMMIT that's painful

  2. It wasn't as bad as I thought a "break" should be. I'm not saying I want to try it again. . . just that if I can make it through without swearing out loud, it can't have been TOO bad.