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Thursday, January 19, 2012

Zombie Evolution

I was surfing channels and came across "Land of the Dead".  I checked the summary on the guide and then thumbed "ok" on my remote.  


Essentially, the synopsis of the movie was, "Intelligent zombies 'evolving' and threatening a city, while a rich tycoon holds safety hostage for money and power."  I haven't gotten the wording entirely right, but the skeleton of the thing is correct (yeah, totally on purpose); "zombies were evolving".  And this made me think, "You idiots.  How the hell can a zombie EVOLVE?"






And I thought of little zombie men and a little zombie women having little zombie babies which would grow up to be smarter than their parents, then having more zombie children that were smarter than THEY were and so on.  And evolution isn't a short process people.  And I laughed at the moron that would make a movie like that.


And I didn't actually watch the movie, but then it occurred to me. . . Why is that any more ridiculous than the idea of zombies in the first place?  If anything it's LESS ridiculous.  It was one of those nerd-recognition moments where I was able to leave my body and dispassionately observe past me, laughing at the audacity of some movie company for taking zombies and turning them into something that was impossible and recognize myself as the true moron.


It reminded me of a conversation my wife had with my mother-in-law.  I wasn't there, but Leslie told me about it later.  


"Mom, you guys should watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer.  It's fun, and funny.  Jim and I watch it all the time."


"Oh, Leslie, I tried watching it one night.  I just couldn't believe they were trying to pass the cast off as high school kids."


And Leslie looked at her silently for a minute and said, "Really?  That's the part that you couldn't buy into?  The vampires and stuff you made your peace with, but just couldn't suspend disbelief long enough to buy Sarah Michelle Geller as a Junior in High School?"


It's like that.  


In writing this post I couldn't remember the name of the movie, but I looked it up because I remembered Simon Baker was in it, and the blurb on IMDB and HBO and anywhere else I cared to look said nothing about zombie evolution. . . just that the zombies learned.  Which I guess means it wasn't the movie makers I thought I was laughing at anyway, but the people who do Xfinity's guide listings.  Morons.


This is the first and probably only blog post you'll ever read where I compare myself to my mother-in-law.


18 comments:

  1. In my world, they evolve into zombie sluts... http://mayorgia.blogspot.com/2011/12/boyfriend-is-in-new-orleans-and-im.html


    Also, I was a HUGE fan of buffy when it was on. Watching now, I have to agree. They're old.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, Buffy was a compromise between my wife and I. Back when FX had it on every day, FOX had Simpson's on every day, and WB or something had Roseanne on every day.

      I hated Roseanne
      She hated the Simpsons
      We started watching Buffy.

      And because FX showed it in series. . . we watched the first however many seasons there were more or less in order and became fans. This was while it was still on the air, and we were dating and childless. Lots of time on our hands.

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    2. How can YOU hate Roseanne???

      How can SHE hate the Simpsons!?!?!?!?!


      *smh*

      I don't even KNOW you anymore

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    3. I can hate Roseanne because she's LOUD and OBNOXIOUS. I admitted to Leslie that it was a funny show, but not one I want to watch.

      She in turn admitted to me that she finds the Simpson's amusing but doesn't want to watch.

      So. . . meh.

      Delete
  2. Love Buffy!

    I HAVE seen Land of the Dead, and that movie lead to the term "Smart Zombie" being integrated into my vernacular. Meaning, being a smart zombie doesn't actually say a lot about your intelligence and abilities, because being the smartest of the zombies isn't exactly an accomplishment.

    You may compare yourself to your Mother-in-law, but I actually use that movie as a metaphor for life. Does that mean I win? Is this a competition?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. everything is a competition, but you still lose.

      I read some reviews of the movie. . . apparently it was pretty good. I like Simon Baker. And zombies. And post apocalyptic movies/books. . . win, win, win!!

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  3. I thought zombies got smarter by eating genius brains.

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    Replies
    1. I still can't get my brains around how the zombies bite THROUGH the skull. Like, have you ever even tried bobbing for apples? Your teeth slide right over the apple skin without purchase, but they can bite through a SKULL??

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  4. You know what gets me? The lack of continuity in story line between the zombie movies/shows.
    let's compare the Walking Dead and Zombieland. I mean, on The Walking Dead, they don't move very fast and they seem to be only driven by the need to feed. On Zombieland, those suckers can book it and they seem like they are ticked off.

    *The only two zombie shows I've ever actually watched...so maybe I'm not exactly an expert.

    In possibly not-unrelated news...do we have the same mother-in-law?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's the same with vampires though. . . some are beautiful practically fairy creatures with glittering skin and super powers (Lestat, Edward, The Underworld movies) and some are freaky weird evil spiderlike things (Bram Stoker, Nosferatu, etc).

      There's a lot of misinformation out there about zombies and vampires and stuff. We should make it a point to raise awareness for zombies.

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  5. Not a fan of Zombies but I do play one in real life.

    Very funny moron realization moment. Thanks for the laugh. And I agree with your MIL. Too old for high school.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. how can anyone NOT be a fan of zombies?

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  6. "Really? That's the part you couldn't buy into?" That made me laugh out loud! It's so true though. Is it really that impossible to get actors the actual age of the characters they play?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It probably IS harder, especially if you get young actors. . . IN SCHOOL playing a regular role in a long lasting show. Maybe seasons one and two take place when the kids are in school, but eventually they'll get old, and unless the show grows them up. . . they're playing parts younger than their chronological age.

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  7. I think your comment above is exactly right. Someone should make it a point to raise awareness about zombies and vampires. Well, not so much about zombies...because I don't care about them. But the whole vampire thing is very confusing.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Simon Baker is excellent in a show called The Mentalist.

    In case you wanted to know ;)

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    Replies
    1. We watch the Mentalist all the time. he is good. He has remarkable hair.

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